I had a huge epiphany, a great moment of clarity!
Have I ever considered that I believed in such good and love in these abusers is because
that’s what I have in me?
Have I ever considered that my incapacity to understand evil nor someone’s lack of compassion, this yearning to understand just what does lack of empathy FEEL like, is because it is so far removed from the deep good that is inside me?
Only malicious, ill behaved people have told me I’m awful, pathetic and worthless. I’m the one that believed them. I don’t anymore. I see the mind trap I was in. I’m gaining clarity and reparenting myself to shine my light.